Tag: tentacles

Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers

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Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers
Like I was saying, I don’t give an octopus’ tentacle what you think- Huh? Oh those are cool. Steampunk Octopus Light Switch Covers. You gots some nice tentacles baby. And suckers that go on foreva! I know, because every time I flick your switch, I cop a feel.

Hey, it’s a sexy light switch cover. Don’t judge. But if you do, I hope you’ll let me run with an insanity defense, because these sexy steampunk switch covers from Etsy seller WainmanStudios are driving me crazy.
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Cthulhu Coffee Mugs

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etsy cthulhu coffee tea mug
The best part of waking up is Cthulhu in your cup. It’s true. With every sip he tickles my nose and my tastebuds with his coffee soaked tentacles. These Cthulhu Coffee Mugs are spec-tentacle-tacular. I’m not even awake until I’ve had my Cthulhu brew in the morning.

When I down that drink, I look to the bottom of the mug and we lock eyes. He winks. I wink. Then I slam the cup down in satisfaction and break it into a million shards. He finds a new mug for a home and we do the whole thing over again the next day.
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Cthulhu Fetus Pups

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cthulhu baby pups
My Cthulhu just had pups. Aren’t they adorable? I mean, they’re gonna grow up to destroy the world, but still. Now I gotta go through the hassle of printing up some flyers. You know “Free Cthulhu pups” call me at the number below. I named them Zoidberg, Squidchin, Tenta-butt and Squiggly.

Their mother died, so I have to milk them myself. I gotta come clean, the mother is fine. I just enjoy it. But my man-boobs are starting to dry up. Except when they cry. Then it’s like a leaky faucet. We got a weird bond thing happening. My nipples are pretty irritated though.

Damn it Zoidberg, stop clawing at the sofa.

Bookends That Attack

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bookends
You can’t have books without having some bookends to keep them all organized. Unless you are me and you use canned vegetables, because you’re cheap. What else am I gonna do, eat ’em? Anyway, if I eat that can of corn, my entire Game of Thrones book series is going to fall. Not that I read it. TV made it so I don’t have to read it. Anyway, did you know those books are like 500 pages? And they don’t even have a single picture of a dragon inside?

Anyway these awesome bookends from KnobCreekMetalArts all feature various attacks, with your books caught in the middle. Everything from tentacles attacking pirate ships, to dinosaurs trying to eat people, to aliens abducting people. Who needs to read the books when the bookends are so exciting?

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These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

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creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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