Category: Just Plain Weird

You Shouldn’t Putt Where You Poop: EZ Drinker Toilet Golf

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toilet golf
The EZ Drinker Toilet Golf game is all about being able to enjoy a round of golf, instead of missing out because you are on the toilet all day trying to evacuate turd citizens from the natural disaster that is your colon. EZ Drinker? What does that mean? Easy there drinker. Don’t golf where you s**t!

This potty game makes the act of pooping even more rewarding. Forget eating extra fiber. Stay awhile and enjoy the green. I had this for like a week before I missed the toilet and added a yellow lake in the green. What can I say? My aim was off. The cats have added some litter and made a little sand trap too, complete with logs. Fun game, but it’s starting to smell super nasty.

Needle Felted Zombie Valentine’s Day Candy

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felted valentines candy
This Valentine’s Day give the gift of Needle Felted Zombie Candy. I hear they are delicious, but give you a serious case of cotton mouth. Plus, no calories!

So basically this is the perfect gift if your wife is getting a little thick around her dump trunk. Whoa! We were all thinking it. I’m just saying it’s the perfect gift. And since these little zombie treats are felt, your diet is safe. It’s a gift that says “I love you, but there is enough of you right now and it is making the couch bow.”
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Stitched Skin Chest

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skin chest
Take that! Suck it you giant Troll. Guys I beat the boss! I’m gonna open the chest. Ewww. Wait! I’m not opening that. It’s looking at me from like every side. This thing is like a Beverly Hills housewife. You need a scalpel to open it up and get the money out! Only this thing ain’t gonna look any better after.

You can’t even try to pick the lock because the damn teeth will snap at you. Oh well, no skin off my chest. Seriously, stop looking at me. What did I say to have you in stitches anyway? You can keep all of your gold and sweet dungeon loot. We’re off to another dungeon. You might want to see a dermatologist pal.
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Houseware Of Horrors

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housewares of horrors
Etsy seller shaynegreco has all kinds of housewares with horrible things crawling all over them. Mostly sea creatures. The only time I’ve seen crabs this size crawling on plates was when I visited that “Gentleman’s club/ Diner” in New Orleans. (Bad combination. Do NOT recommend.) At least these won’t be moving and they won’t require a doctor in a hazmat suit to shut down the premises.

This seller has Octopi on platters, crabs on china and other monstrosities that don’t belong on your dishware. Every time you serve yourself on these creepy plates you are fighting creatures for your food. Get off Lobster! Mine! Go find Nemo and leave my food alone!
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This Wearable Cat Table Turns Your Kitty Into A Butler

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cat table
This is a table that your cat can wear. It turns your kitty into a slave. Now, I hear what your sayin’. Cat’s are already slaves to the internets, performing tricks and looking cute so you can haz the feels. But this wearable cat table turns them into real slaves. This may put butlers out of business. The Katatsu suit goes around your cats belly and attaches with velcro. On it’s back is a portable table.

“Jeeves come here I need you. After you finish up with the peeking out of the box game and have completed your crawling inside of the paper bag, press stop on the camera and I shall edit it later. I will then require some tea and krumpets for our guests. You know what to wear. Do provide enough LOLs for the guests. There’s a good cat.”
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