Tag: etsy

Goosebumps Slappy The Dummy Replica And Annabelle From The Conjuring

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

Goosebumps Slappy The Dummy Replica And Annabelle From The Conjuring
TheScaryCloset lives up to their name by storing murderous dolls in their closet. Like Slappy The Dummy From Goosebumps and Annabelle from the Conjuring. These life sized replicas are pure nightmare fuel. Never want to sleep again? Buy these freaky freak faces. Yeah, these things are conjuring goosebumps all over my skin.

Click through for a shot of Anabelle too. It’s stuff like this that reminds me there’s a hell. You gotta act right or this is your afterlife. Having lunch with Lucifer and his demon dolls for all eternity. I’m changing my ways. At the very least, no more using swiffer pads and putting them back in the box, so I can get my money back. I’m turning over a new leaf.
Read more “Goosebumps Slappy The Dummy Replica And Annabelle From The Conjuring”

Krampus Christmas Wreaths: Ho Ho…No!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Krampus Christmas Wreaths
These Krampus Christmas Wreaths are pretty cool. Ho Ho No! They are from Etsy seller FantasyClayFlowers. Krampus punishes naughty children during Christmas. Not to be confused by my grandfather aka Grampus, who likes to take his teeth out and torture kids on Christmas. Fun fact: I always thought Krampus was spelled Crampus and only came out once a month so that women could torment men as revenge for cramps. The wife’s been nice for awhile, so basically, myth busted.

Hmmm. If you get a tramp stamp of Krampus, you have a Trampus. Something to think about. I’ll give you one, you give me one, cool? Hey! You gave me Grampus! WTF! Not cool!

On second thought, they do kinda look the same. Except Krampus has teeth.
Read more “Krampus Christmas Wreaths: Ho Ho…No!”

Skeleton Molds For Making Creepy Candy

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton Molds For Making Creepy Candy
If you want some scary candy, you can make skeleton parts with these Skeleton Molds. Make yourself a skull-sucker, some sour ribs, whatever you want. You can get parts for the upper body and the lower body. I’m gonna make an entire chocolate skeleton. Do you dare me to eat the whole thing? Do you double-dog dare me? Triple-dog dare me? Where the hell did you get so many dogs?

Okay, you had me with the original dare. When it comes to eating chocolate I am in fact Daredevil. Cuz I’m all over Netflix while I chomp away and it looks like Hell’s Kitchen up in here.
Read more “Skeleton Molds For Making Creepy Candy”

Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace
This Octopug Necklace combines two weird things that frighten me, natures Octopus and Natures Pug Dog. Fun fact: Octopi are the only pie I’m scared of. I’ll eat anything else up in a second. The Octopug is nature’s latest mutant creation. It is absolutely Pugnacious! (Just proving I can too use big words, even if I am just guessing at the meaning cuz I heard it somewhere.)

*Wears my new necklace as I walk around town all cool-like* Sup? Pug life yo! Check out my bling bling. I am so awesomely cool now. Thank you dog-tentacled thing!

Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas
Are you interested in these awesome Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas? Yeah? Going once. Going twice. Skulled to the highest bidder. I almost said bidet. They will not be sold to the highest bidet because 1) It’s too tall and 2)bidets don’t buy things. They just shoot water up your bum-hole.

Now that we have that cleared up, or should I say now that your butt has been sprayed clean, I can tell you about these fancy decorative skulls from etsy seller PoorYorickSkulls. They come in all kinds of styles and colors. Not all kinds of shapes cuz you know, skulls is skulls. My uncle used to say that. I would tug on his sleeve and say, “Isn’t she pretty uncle? She has a nice face.” He would look and say, “Eh. Skulls is skulls. But she’s got some nice *beep*. It rhymes with holes. My uncle was an ass. I should really visit him in jail someday soon.

Anywho these skulls is awesome. Here’s a song I wrote.

These skulls ain’t got no souls.
Ain’t got no use for Doctor Scholls.
Magic so hype,
They keep your daughters off poles.
Decorate yer house,
They frighten moles.
It’s got a nose hole,
And some eye holes,
You know you love it,
So shut your pie-holes.

*Drops mic. Walks away.*
Read more “Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas”