You see that Elf on a Shelf doll? The one holding the knife? Well, it was recently sold to some poor idiot for a Best offer of somewhere under $39.99 on Ebay. The seller was selling it because as soon as she took the elf off the shelf and put it away, strange stuff started happening. Let this be a lesson to us all. KEEP THE ELF ON THE SHELF! Or else!
Read more “Just Put The Knife Down And Nobody Gets Hurt: Haunted Elf On Shelf Doll”
Tag: the truth is out there
Husband & Wife Haunt These Dolls In Unholy Matrimony
A deceased Turkish husband and wife haunt this pair of creepy old dolls. According to Ebay Seller Newmoonchild, “They were procured and purchased in 1974 from a young girl and her uncle. They were handmade by the little girl’s father for her.” Already, there is a big hole in this story- the seller purchased them from the young girl whose father made them for her? Wouldn’t these dolls be a prized possession? Her father made them especially for her and is supposedly haunting one of the dolls. Why would the girl want to sell them to some stranger?
Read more “Husband & Wife Haunt These Dolls In Unholy Matrimony”
Two Headed Chupacabra
The world has known many mythical terrors: Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil, The Loch Ness Monster, Miley Cyrus, and of course El Chupacabra. Some say this creature is a government experiment gone wrong. Others speculate that aliens dropped him off on our planet. Personally, I think a stray dog got some bad Taco Bell and instead of getting the three-alarm intestinal fire/three rolls of Charmin runs, like the rest of us, it got horribly mutated instead. What the hell do they put in that stuff?
Read more “Two Headed Chupacabra”
Ménage à Freak: Weird Alien Wrinkled Flabby Cuddle Huddle
I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I’m pretty sure it all started with these wrinkly and possible all elderly alien maniacs dropping their keys in the same bowl. It’s like a free-for-all nursing home orgy and likely one of them has lost a contact to boot.
Read more “Ménage à Freak: Weird Alien Wrinkled Flabby Cuddle Huddle”
Tin Foil Hat Protects Your Dog From Passive Mind Control
You may not be worried about the government controlling your mind, but dogs know better. Ask any dog and they will tell you that there are humans out there trying to brainwash them and turn them into doggy Manchurian candidates. Just who do you think makes Fido lick his balls so often? The CIA that’s who. And also the cubans who killed Kennedy, who are really aliens from outer space.
Read more “Tin Foil Hat Protects Your Dog From Passive Mind Control”