Author: Artemis Winterford

Disco Zombie Skeleton Has Saturday Night Fever

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Disco Zombie Skeleton Saturday Night Dead
The Zombie plague has been unleashed. Zombies are back and they brought Disco with them! OH MY GAWD! WHICH DO WE KILL FIRST?

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead, stayin’ undead
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead.

This Disco Zombie Skeleton has all of the moves and he brought his own Disco ball. In fact, Saturday Night Fever is probably what killed him, but it was Disco that brought him back. I dig that jacket. This guy is getting all the ladies tonight.

Heh. More like Saturday Night Femur? Am I right? *High fives all of you one by one.*

Twinkle Tush: Jewelry For You Cat’s Butt

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twinkle tush
Twinkle Tush. It’s no longer just a crude name shouted at me by construction workers, accompanied by whistles and catcalls. It’s my own fault for sewing bicycle reflectors into the butts of cut-off jeans. Hey, I like to walk at night. Safety first, fashion last. Anyway, Twinkle Tush is also shiny cat jewelry. I’m talkin’ ice. Bling bling. For your cat’s puckered butt-ring.

True to it’s name, it makes your cat’s butt twinkle like a Solid Gold Dancer. Did I date myself with that sentence? In that case, Imma go cuddle myself and have a smoke now. Maybe stroke my hair and whisper, then fall asleep. Was it good for me? It was the best baby.
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Raven Chandelier

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Raven Chandelier
Nevermore. Nevermore. *Looks up at my Raven chandelier.* Shut up already, I’m trying to eat dinner. I’m raven-ous here. Geesh. Sorry, did I ruffle your feathers? *Sarcastic.* That’s soooo raven! What the- Nice. Poop all over me and my dinner. Great. I knew I should have stuck with traditional decor. Nice. Shake your tail feathers after. Did that feel good?

This cool and slightly creepy piece of raven lighting features birds with a 36″ wingspan. Will it be dark in the room? Nevermore. Will you want to eat under this thing? Nevermore.

Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads

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Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads
Etsy seller CuriousCryptidCurios makes all kinds of cool and freaky and trippy Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads. Or as I like to call Miss Mantis’ work…Chantilly lace and a Mantis Face. These don’t look like my grandma’s figurines. Well, there was that one day. Visiting grandma’s house on LSD is NOT recommended. I spent half the walk there trying to get rid of a big bad wolf who had the swirling cosmos behind it’s hooded cowl.

Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go…Insane! Once I got there the Praying Mantis figures greeted me, we had dinner, talked with the elf elders from behind the cupboard and finally worshiped at the altar of my grandmother’s dentures on the sink. Good times. David Lynch was there, as were various melty things like reality itself. You gotta do what ya gotta do to deal with grandma’s stories.
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Bigfoot Nesting Dolls: Matryo-Squatch

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Bigfoot Nesting Dolls Matryoshka-Squatch
Bigfoots have a natural nesting instinct. They like to build nests out of dead tree limbs and stuff. So it makes sense that Bigfoot would be part of a nesting doll set. Etsy seller licoricewits has two cool sets of Bigfoot nesting dolls available. Better get ’em before they are gone and there is no photographic evidence. *Raises wrist to check my Sasquatch Watch.* I predict these will be gone within the hour. That’s when I plan to buy them and let out a huge Wookie-type roar.

The first set features Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil and the Cupacabra. The second set is a Bigfoot family.
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