Author: Artemis Winterford

Homemade Star Wars AT-ST With Sheep’s Skull

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star wars at at skull
The Empire Strikes FEAR with this crazy nasty Star Wars AT-AT, which is actually an AT-ST unless I need my geek credentials taken away. In this case it stands for All Terror-Skull Transport. If the Empire could harness zombie technology, this is the kind of equipment they would be using.

I have to ask. What makes someone put a sheep’s skull on a friggin’ Star Wars toy? Probably the same thing that made me drown all my figures in glue and pretend it was carbonite. The Force. We can blame it for everything!

This is the result of one of my art projects in college some years ago, genuine sheeps skull on star wars walker legs! Awesome!

I’m guessing there were a lot of hallucinogens at that college. Just kidding. But still, you’re weird. I’m locking up all of my toys when you come over to play.

Thanks Jeremy.
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Stuff Your Crust With This Pizza Bra

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pizza bra
This Pizza Bra looks awesome. I know that some women like to stuff their bra, and that’s all good with this pepperoni infused over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Stuffed crust is the best in my book. I also love how it’s rocking the “one slice up, one slice down” thing, because that’s exactly how I put pizza on my plate.

Note to the seller. This should really be shipped in a pizza box. With free breadsticks.
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Zombie Bride Bustier: Nice Brains

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zombie bustier
The undead bride-to-be is going to look lovely in this Zombie Bride Bustier. I didn’t know that zombies took brides, but looking at the brains on this one, I can see why they might. You don’t get brains like that unless you study hard and stay in school. Well, I guess a zombie plastic surgeon could augment what you have and give you a bigger brain-cup though. Anywho, you will be the “Walking Down The Aisle” Dead in this outfit.

Dead, undead, alive, it’s all the same. Within a year she will be yelling at you to clean up the dishes and complaining that you don’t bring her fresh brains anymore.
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F@#k The Time Watch

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f@#ck the time watch
This F@#k The Time watch is the most appropriate watch ever. No matter what the actual time is. F@#k it!

It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Time to wake up. F@#k the time!

Let’s go, the wife says. It’s time to go to the Opera. You promised. F@#k The Time!

The boss says, It’s time to hand in that report. Oh yeah? F@#k The Time!

Hey, the timer just went off. Your mac and cheese is ready. Yeah? Well F@#k The- I’m on it!

Best watch ever.

Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp

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aliens lamp
Etsy seller Kreatworks creates all kinds of awesome and scary alien sculptures. Most of them cost way more than I have saved in my piggybank. I know, because I just busted the thing open and counted it all up before walking down the street and spending my life savings on a Kit Kat bar. Well, THAT was a tasty retirement! Back to work now!

Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp is all kinds of scary and awesome. It will totally watch you all night long as you watch it back, until you are a nervous wreck and hiding under the blankets, cursing the fact that you soiled yourself.

Lesson learned. Some things are just too scary to have in your bedroom. The next morning you decide that it would look much better in your toddler’s room.
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