Tag: the truth is out there

Milk Packaging Shows Cow Getting Abducted By UFO

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Milk Packaging Shows Cow Getting Abducted By UFO
We all know that humans and cows are being abducted by aliens. It’s no secret. That’s why they are now putting UFOs abducting cows on milk bottles. This cool concept design for Molocow milk makes every serving of milk a recreation of a terrifying cow abduction. They say it’s fun for kids. I say it is terrifying for cows. I do like the cool flying saucer bottle caps though.

It’s all fun and games until that beam of light hits you and lifts you up into the mothership and violates your privates, whether you are a cow or a human. I hope they actually put this on their bottle though. I’m sure they will milk the idea for all it’s worth. If you think UFOs are utter nonsense, think again.
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Area 51 Coasters: The Truth Is Out There

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Area 51 Coasters The Truth Is Out There
I’d like to tell you about these Area 51 Coasters, but the place doesn’t officially exist. Nope. There’s nothing there but desert. If you think you saw something it was only a mirage. That’s what the nice men wearing black told me. Yep. So that’s how it is. I didn’t see anything. I was never there. Those men were never here questioning me. They said so. I never saw no stinking UFO wreckage, there was no alien corpse and if I think there was, that’s gonna be the end of me.

Roswell Alien Sculpture

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Roswell Alien Sculpture
This is an alien from Roswell. You remember that UFO crash? It was in all the papers, until they hushed everyone up and secretly made friends with the aliens, trading Easter peeps for technology. Anyway, this Roswell Alien Sculpture is all like, “Hey man, wasup? We just kinda crashed in your yard. It will take us about 4 hours to fix this old hunk of junk, so in the meantime hows about dropping them pants and lettin’ us probe you? What say you human?”

This thing is gonna look sweet in my front yard once I get some plaster and make him anatomically correct. See why my neighbors love me?

Alien Space Dog Remains

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Alien Space Dog Remains
You know how it is. You’re out zipping through space in your Hot Rod UFO, your space dog’s head hanging out the window, when suddenly Fido has to take a leak. And since you don’t want him lifting his leg in your newly upholstered UFO, you have to make a pit stop. On Earth. But you encounter a lightning storm and you crash. Then some hick finds your alien corpse and your Alien Space Dog Remains. That’s an embarrassing way to go. Your remains are in the hands of those lower life-forms that you have probed endlessly.

I say, you got what you deserved space scum! And if my butt-hole wasn’t so messed up, I’d kick your alien keister! But I have to hit the toilet like now before I erupt! That’s your fault. And stop leaving your dogs all over our planet! *Farts as I run to the bathroom*

Anyway, damn their space dogs are ugly. Big brains though. I bet when you put a treat on it’s nose, it just telekinetically lifts it and carries it into it’s mouth. That seems like something a freaky space pooch would do. At least they are evolved enough to ASK if they can hump your leg. Probably cuddle it after too.
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Alien Ties: Dress For Alien Abduction Success

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Alien Ties Dress For Alien Abduction Success
Now we join an alien abduction already in progress…

“Beeble-brix zat-sylum kubri-saq.” Nudges his alien buddy and points at the Alien Tie the victim is wearing.

“Axl-herkl Haw-gab nee-srink!” *LOL* Which translates to, “He worships us. This one deserves extra lube!”

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.